Here he is, he's got such challenging BMI that he's no doubt facing an onset of gout and necrotizing worms of the sort that narrowly failed to see off that uber-kundt Ben Fogle the other week. Nonetheless, fatty that he may be, he's still in charge of Network Rail, and here on Worralls' blog we are privy to information that Sir Toppam Hatt, to confer the rotund gent's actual name that's actually printed on his birth certificate, is making a bid to take over beleagured operator National Express East Coast. In the secret memorandum that drummer Pigflu Jade saw in the dungeon of local Bayswater S&M masseuse Maxine Mosley, Sir Hatt claims that Sugababes will be retrained on the older traction - mainly split-box Class 45s - whilst chirpy cockney Dizzee Rascal is to lead a new range of Fair Trade produce in the restaurant cars. Steam haulage will return to the Holy Island branch off Northumberland coast, presently operated by Harold the Helicopter.
Additional reporting by Pigflu Jade and Melinda Missionary-Position, Clinical Waste Correspondent.
No comments:
Post a Comment