Due to his impending promotion to the 'Gordon Brown Car Booty Viewers Club - TM' Oly has been looking for a new career. Latest suggestion is as a novelty condom. The 'Oly French Tickler' or 'Olydom' will be a boon the the shagger of fat Aunts of the Feltz variety - simply wedge the retarded boy bass player on your cheb end before entering the fat gunt - he will act as a sort of sexual rawl plug; meaning you won't have to resort to more traditional methods like tying a four by two accross your arse.
Please note this is a copyright PFJB product - bringing you innovation through deviance!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Dear Oly
Oly you are a total utter kunt,
When you came round yesterday to bring back my bass which you fucking broke you kunt. You couldn't resist it could you you little bastard? Because I was out and my lovely virgin girlfriend and childhood sweetheart was in - who incidentally I have never got past first base with, you just had to didn't you, you fucking sexual retard. You twat you fucked her in every fucking hole you kunt, didn't you?
I can fix the fucking bass but what the fuck am i supposed to do with her tattered hymen and arsehole you kunt? All she does now is sit round leaking everywhere and grinning a lot - you dirty, retarded shabby little KUNT KUNT KUNT KUNT bastard Kunt!
When you came round yesterday to bring back my bass which you fucking broke you kunt. You couldn't resist it could you you little bastard? Because I was out and my lovely virgin girlfriend and childhood sweetheart was in - who incidentally I have never got past first base with, you just had to didn't you, you fucking sexual retard. You twat you fucked her in every fucking hole you kunt, didn't you?
I can fix the fucking bass but what the fuck am i supposed to do with her tattered hymen and arsehole you kunt? All she does now is sit round leaking everywhere and grinning a lot - you dirty, retarded shabby little KUNT KUNT KUNT KUNT bastard Kunt!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Cunts of the day - Birds
I hate birds.
I hate the way they fly about thinking their awesome.
Flying around with their chirpy songs only to bring shit and holes in bin bags.
I hate that loads of people love them.
I fucking hate the aunts.
I wish they'd all fuck off and leave me alone, I'm fed up with sitting in the bath with the lights off crying in fear of them.
Bastards.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Meh...your a cunt.
The bassist is freaking out
The front bottom is currently having a lot of time off
The drummer is smashing a double pedal
And the guitarist is currently admiring Hardy's work but not Laurels, because he's a fat aunt.
This is Worrall's pretend facebook status' for today.
It makes a nice change from them all reading '...is a cunt'
Which we all are of course.
Live wrong and prosper.
The front bottom is currently having a lot of time off
The drummer is smashing a double pedal
And the guitarist is currently admiring Hardy's work but not Laurels, because he's a fat aunt.
This is Worrall's pretend facebook status' for today.
It makes a nice change from them all reading '...is a cunt'
Which we all are of course.
Live wrong and prosper.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Appologies
Sorry for the picture below. I didn't realise how much of a total solar eclipse fat fucker fatty Feltz was in black tights. Jeeesus the bloody lights went out. Not even well know BBW fan and chubby chaser Oly would fuck that. I'm no fasion guru but women with thighs that big shouls not wear tight leggings - they say black is slimming!
Sorry but just helping her out Feltz fans.....
Sorry but just helping her out Feltz fans.....
Too Fat To Fuck Part 1
Being too optimistic may hamper attempts to lose weight, a study suggested.
'Optimism' hampers weight loss
People who are "happy and fat" tend to respond less well to slimming programmes, said psychologists.
The findings indicate that a little negativity might benefit slimmers by leading them to worry more about their health and appearance.
No shit sherlock - tell us something else we don't know. Perhaps I can assist a few fat bastards by running up to them in the street and saying....'oi fat cunt, yes you, you lard arsed twat, you look a fukin state you dirty smelly greasy lump of overextended shit, i dunno how you dare come out of the house - now get your flabby chops down to weightwatchers and sweat some off fatty bastardos'. Now did that help?
'Optimism' hampers weight loss
People who are "happy and fat" tend to respond less well to slimming programmes, said psychologists.
The findings indicate that a little negativity might benefit slimmers by leading them to worry more about their health and appearance.
No shit sherlock - tell us something else we don't know. Perhaps I can assist a few fat bastards by running up to them in the street and saying....'oi fat cunt, yes you, you lard arsed twat, you look a fukin state you dirty smelly greasy lump of overextended shit, i dunno how you dare come out of the house - now get your flabby chops down to weightwatchers and sweat some off fatty bastardos'. Now did that help?
Silly Kunt
Man marries four women on same day
A man has married four women at the same time during a ceremony attended by hundreds
WTF - he must have his fucking eggs scrambled. Hey Chard how do you fancy 4 fookin wives?
A man has married four women at the same time during a ceremony attended by hundreds
WTF - he must have his fucking eggs scrambled. Hey Chard how do you fancy 4 fookin wives?
It's not all doom and gloom
It should be known that the bassist is currently resembling a cheshire cat and has remembered how happy a man could actually be. It'll end in tears, obviously, but here right now, he's fucking smiling like a proper kunt.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Complete and utter aunts No. 56
This kunt robot goes by the name of Victoria Beckham. Once a member of 'skat eaters anonymous', or as they we're known in the pub(l)ic eye 'the spice girls', she pretended to sing for many years. While we'd of all sodomised Emma Bunton we would never of even touched Pinnochio deviant 2nd cousin for fear of cumming on her circuit board and getting eletrocuted.
She has recieved many upgrades throughout her 3,000 year excistence, including the application of larger processing chips in her tits to make her more of kunt at a quicker speed.
Her stealing of David Beckham's soul was both calculated and planned and robbed English football of someone who could actually play. He's a cunt though none the less for not mashing her robotic face in with a cricket bat at the earliest opportunity. There is however solid rumours that she has inserted an explosive device into the space that once inhabited his brain before she stole it while he slept and that is why he's a complete fucking idiot. If he attempts to break free and find his hidden brain the robotic bitch will blow his head off in the blink of an eye.
Victoria Beckham you are a fucking disgrace.
Get back in your spaceship you buried in the Essex cuntryside and fuck off back to planet kunt in the universe of kunt, you orange stained kunt.
Ok, once.
My ring otomy of the Day
This is a myringotomy being carried out. Trust me on this, I'm something of an expert. if anyone thinks it is reminiscent of a mouse's ear, then I'm afraid, you deviant, that you are incorrect old chum - INCORRECT. For this is MY ringotomy and not yours. And you only get one of these if you can prove that you've always eaten your greens. From cradle to gravy.
The Fat Controller
Here he is, he's got such challenging BMI that he's no doubt facing an onset of gout and necrotizing worms of the sort that narrowly failed to see off that uber-kundt Ben Fogle the other week. Nonetheless, fatty that he may be, he's still in charge of Network Rail, and here on Worralls' blog we are privy to information that Sir Toppam Hatt, to confer the rotund gent's actual name that's actually printed on his birth certificate, is making a bid to take over beleagured operator National Express East Coast. In the secret memorandum that drummer Pigflu Jade saw in the dungeon of local Bayswater S&M masseuse Maxine Mosley, Sir Hatt claims that Sugababes will be retrained on the older traction - mainly split-box Class 45s - whilst chirpy cockney Dizzee Rascal is to lead a new range of Fair Trade produce in the restaurant cars. Steam haulage will return to the Holy Island branch off Northumberland coast, presently operated by Harold the Helicopter.
Additional reporting by Pigflu Jade and Melinda Missionary-Position, Clinical Waste Correspondent.
Worralls roadies meet at first convention -Congratulations in order!
Today saw the meeting of two very different Worrall's roadies, who's meeting brings together great expertise in helping us move forward into a new era with the band. We was not however expecting them to have sex and now Worrall's will be having their first ever child.
The Mother is said to be doing very well and we're looking forward to taking the little blighter on tour with us in months to cum.
Dish of the day - Dogs' Eggs
A slight case of overbaking I think. These crumbly beauties were laid earlier by a visually-impaired poodle in Deptford Park, SE16.
The price of meat
It has cum to our attention like my gran's dog that women like to weigh themselves at regular intervals.
Now a woman likes to weigh slightly less than their sister and will try various means to get to this weight, such as cabbage diets, being a member of fat club or just out of control raw fish induced shitting, whatever it maybe a woman is always wanting to loss weight.
We as men are naturally kunts, this is true, no more so than the men that form the backbone of society that is Worralls. We ask you Worrall's followers (you aunts) to next time your lady is weighing herself to slip in her your meat, this will result in average 1-4lbs in extra weight making it not only hilarious but keeping the bitches insecure enough to never leave you.
All in all fucking hilarious times.
God we're KUNTS.
Now a woman likes to weigh slightly less than their sister and will try various means to get to this weight, such as cabbage diets, being a member of fat club or just out of control raw fish induced shitting, whatever it maybe a woman is always wanting to loss weight.
We as men are naturally kunts, this is true, no more so than the men that form the backbone of society that is Worralls. We ask you Worrall's followers (you aunts) to next time your lady is weighing herself to slip in her your meat, this will result in average 1-4lbs in extra weight making it not only hilarious but keeping the bitches insecure enough to never leave you.
All in all fucking hilarious times.
God we're KUNTS.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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